Monday, December 28, 2009

Fuck the H.A.M.B. - the dark side of the net, and Kevin Smith

Check out this interview of Kevin Smith (yet another fellow Jersey guy) - who TOTALLY gets it.
If you read what I posted last week about my disgust with certain parts of the web, and namely,
as far as our Kulture is concerned - the h.a.m.b. - then your going to LOVE what Kevin has to say
in this vid. He nails everything I was trying to say, and naturally, does a much better job of doing
it than I did. In anycase, give it a watch....what he says here is EXACTLY the way it is.

Sunday, December 27, 2009


Well, I saw Sherlock Holmes with Bruder this weekend.
And let me say first and foremost, for any and all misgivings I may have had prior to sitting down in the theatre - they have all been laid to rest. I should've known that Guy Ritchie would deliver at least a watchable film, if not an actual cool hip flick. He certainly delivers with Downey Jr. doing what I thought was a great version of his Holmes. Granted, this isnt your fathers version of the Doyle favorite. But, if you go with a bit of an open mind, and an eye towards a new telling of the worlds greatest detective, I think you will really enjoy the thing. What kinda surprised me is that this is actually a really beautifully shot flick. What the DP did, was I think, exactly what this movie needed. If your looking for a movie to see over the holiday week, skip the blue alien flick, and go see a good old fashioned DOWN TO EARTH mystery.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The H.A.M.B , Retards, and Monkeys fucking footballs

QUICK! Give me three things not necessarily associated with each other, but which are all CLEARLY related....Ill go ya one better, restrain my request to our kulture. Give up? well, no worries, as Im sure you already guessed I have done the heavy lifting here and connected all the dots for you.

Yes, I give you the H.A.M.B. ladies and gentlemen. A bigger collection of mouth breathing, know nothing, football fucking Simeon simpletons you will never find anywhere else in our kulture. And whats better, they all think they have an opinion that actually counts for something. Truth be told, I have never paid much attention to this rag tag collection of zipperheads that deserve, as much as anything, to be collectively marched off into a shower room with no drains as anything else. Nevertheless, they exist. If only to plague those of us in this life that actually try to do something creative, or righteous, or reaffirming in the best sense of the concept, which is to say, remaining unashamedly TRADITIONAL. I ask myself over and over again, why this gaggle of prepossessed, pretentious over opinionated jag offs should bother me, or anyone for that matter. And after great consideration it comes down to this quote: Those who can, DO. Those who cant,REVIEW. There may be no more perfect sentence with which to underline my long standing vehement hatred of this fucking worthless board. But its deeper than that. In a way, its a deep seated hatred of the INTERNET. The evil, all encompassing beast that has given rise to the oh so vociferous, -living in mommies basement, cant wait to fire up my 400 dollar acer computer that I bought at fucking wall mart to flame some cat that is actually trying to accomplish something with his life- loser. Its kinda the dark side of the Internet if you will.

I am a firm believer that although you are certainly entitled to your opinion, as misdirected and utterly uniformed as it probably is, you are NOT entitled to damage someones reputation or destroy something that actually has value by simply banging out a hand full of anonymous strokes on a keyboard. Dont get me wrong, this isnt a problem for our kulture alone. These miserable fucking discussion boards plague all areas of the internet, from home made chocolate chip cookie recipes, to the on line editorial pages of the new york times. Its just that this one, the H.A.M.B. , is our particular sack of crap. For the two wheel crowd its the jockey journal, and so forth. The real tragedy is not just that these boards give idiots a "voice" without having to go through any of the traditional channels that creative people take, like say establishing and maintaining a blog, or a website, or a shop, or a photo studio or whatever, no. The sobering and simple reality is that of the collective voice of a mob. One shit head says something, and before you know it, 4, 8, 16 - 100 people are all talking smack. Safety in numbers for the cowards, to be sure. And make no mistake, they are simple fucking yellow bellied cowards cum wanna be bullies. The enticement of instant self aggrandizement is more than these double digit i.q. short bus riders can stand. Racing home from work, or staying up to the wee hours of the morning hoping to be the first guy on a thread to offer needlessly critical statements or baseless criticisms on what someone else has produced.
When it first occurred to me to go into the magazine publishing business it was mainly because I couldnt find a magazine that I would actually want to read myself. It was obvious that no one, at least in my eyes, was doing it "right". So you know what, in those days, pre-internet, you did one of two things. Shut the fuck up and sit down. Or put your money where your big assed mouth was and try to do a better job yourself. Almost a decade, and TWO thriving magazines later, yeah...Im qualified to have an opinion.
Granted, you cant argue something subjective, like say taste. If you see something as you go about your worthless existence, and you say to yourself, "well, I dont like that" - fine. Its a matter of your personal taste. But remember chuck-o, thats ALL it is. Your fucking taste. You dont like a tv show, change the channel. You dont like comedy routines with strangely abstract references that require you to have more than a handful of braincells working at any given time. Dont watch Dennis Miller. But until you actually TRY to do something original yourself, and then to go further, and open yourself up to the same non-sensical horseshit that you yourself are all too eager to dish out, my advice to you is to shut your fucking worthless goddamm mouth, and go back to jerking off to interspecies erotica when your mommy is out of the room.
All that having been said, the sad reality is that we (as in those of us who make things for others to consume) will forever have to deal with the vocalized ramblings of people who arent qualified to tie their own fucking shoes.
Do the right thing, shun these sites. Turn your back on them man. I would rather hear that you spent4 hours redoing your myspace page, than learn that you actively participate on a message board somewhere. I dont care how you try to justify it - you like looking at the pictures there, or its a great place to get tech tips or whatever. The simple act of you clicking the URL then lends credence to the site. Your participation, no mater how tacit, is recorded as a stat somewhere. The proprietors of these sites then take that info and use it club us all over the head with it, or worse yet, try to legitimize themselves by selling ad space and earning a LIVING off of all this idiocy. In a weird not so subtly parasitic kinda way, they are making money and enjoying fame and celebrity off of the fact that they do nothing more than provide a rich atmosphere in which the aforementioned football fucking monkey 'tards are allowed to torment and criticize others with no fear of remuneration or retaliation.
Unfair? you bet
no one ever said life was fair, so is the real point to this though. I emplore you, recognize this for what it is. Its a huge shit sandwich folks...........dont buy (or bite) into it.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Der Zombie - Das Fuhrer

Zombie is off playing a new game on his PS3 and apparently they let you design your own car.
Well dont tell a Deutsche that he can design his own car, cause this is what your gonna get!
These pics are taken off of the TV screen at his house.
Deutsche are jerks - even in a virtual world, and we love it!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Titus bros

correct kustoms, done nicely. Why is it that no one seemingly bothers to pay any attention to work that has been done in the past to help them build decent acceptable cars now? You know, for the life of me, I dont see anything here in these pictures that says "ratrod" - those fucking cars have no legacy except that of shoddy workmanship done by lazy, no talent hacks. Recently glorified in equally badly done magazines such as "rebel rodz" and the like. Learn from the past, take your styling cues from builders who actually built something that was worth reaffirming. Dont drink the "Im badder than you and I can prove it by building an even shittier car" Koolaid. The guy that is more concerned about how many tats he has, or how cool his barbwire grill insert looks in his bullet ridden Abone radiator shell isnt worth pissing on to put out if he was on fire in front of you, and begging for his miserable life. The Titus bros did some great stuff. I bet half the guys that have memorized every asinine episode of "monster garage" dont even know they existed.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


wow- check out the sedan delivery...flat out kicked the trains ass, and its still identifiable...Try that shit with a car nowadays and you would be picking up pieces of car no bigger than a soda can.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

On Purpose?!

Gay as a parade in S.F. Seriously, get a job driving a truck. Cause as a car builder, you make a pretty good plumber.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Ones an obvious wreck, the other they had to work at....

I was going back through some pics tonight, from shows gone by. Here are a couple candidates for an early trip to the crusher - These vehicles appeared at the grand national Oakland roadster show, the last year it was at the cow palace. . Ones an obvious wreck. The other one, well...they must have worked on it a good long time to make it so.
I leave it to you to decide which is which.
But, let me say this, Lamborghini doors belong on FRIGGIN LAMBORGHINI'S !!! why in gods name, we feel compelled as a kulture to hang those damn things on everything from v.w.'s to peterbuilts I will probably never understand.
But when you see something like this, I have to believe that even the most slack-jawed, dimwitted casual observer see's this for what it is.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Don't think I wasn't NERVOUS

check out this quick video clip that I shot while out taking pics for an airshow poster last year.
Why I let the wagon get into situations like this, Ill NEVER know...hahahaha!

....Its that time again! new / old pinups.

The chevy was mine...the ford was cornfeds....
One of my fav models from the day, Melissa - lots of potential, but I never got to shoot her the way I really wanted too.
A vintage shot, with no silicone to be seen anywhere...

Lisa was another great model. This shot was taken back when I lived in the Az. She was a stripper that had recently moved from Seattle. When we would do shoots, she would have her husband hold a full length mirror behind me, so that she could see exactly how she looked from my perspective. Strippers live their whole lives in front of mirrors, so I assume she knew exactly how it was she wanted to appear, and she always made adjustments to her pose - another girl that had tons and tons of potential, but no drive to do anything cool.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Good grief-

I am in no way shape or form a "gamer" BUT(t) if I got to stare at this during the entire game, I might consider taking up playing tomb raider.